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Different gloves for different hands

A sidebar to yesterday’s post, the topic of which was sparked by my lost glove.

Seriously, I hate losing gloves. Gloves are meant to exist in pairs, with the exception of gloves that are sold individually by design, such as baseball gloves, batting gloves, golf gloves, and (I assume) Michael Jackson’s 80’s rhinestone glove. Even then, some athletes prefer to wear two batting/golf gloves, perhaps just for symmetry. Continue Reading

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The hits keep coming

Seems like this site is drowning in a deluge of “life must have meaning” scatterthoughts, or haven’t you noticed? Here’s another one: a commencement address given by Steve Jobs this past summer.

I have to admit, when someone e-mailed this to me as a Word document, I thought it was a repeat of the Kurt Vonnegut Commencement Address that has circled the Internet for years. The only problem is that Vonnegut has never given an address. Here’s the story on that.

So I looked it up in Google and was pleased to confirm that the Jobs speech is, indeed, authentic.

Here’s something else: Care2.com. A friend of mine has an e-mail address through this site, so we were chatting about it and I think it’s really cool. Care 2 Make a Difference. That’s a simple enough message.

Seeing as this follows on yesterday’s post of Random1, I’m now going to have to find something meaningful that ends in “3”. A little help, people?

Now, after all of the feel-good stuff, I was going to turn this scatterthought around by talking about something completely meaningless, but then another friend I was talking to on the phone asked me to tape “America’s Next Top Model” for her.

Really.

America’s Next Top Model.

Sigh.

Okay.

And as a result, my VCR (yes, I still have a working VCR…I’m a dinosaur) is now set to tape a show that I can’t even begin to feign interest in. I mean, it’s not that I don’t appreciate attractive women (I do) or television (I do) or attractive women on television (I do). I’m just more than a little sick of all the so-called reality tv shows out there. Actually, does this even count as reality tv? I’m not sure that it does.

The irony, of course, is that I run Battle of the Bards. A bunch of people get up, perform, and then the audience votes for the winners. Hmm, sounds kinda sorta similar, don’t it?

In my defence…I blame John. And you should too.

Of course, Bards isn’t so fake and made up and melodramatic as the reality shows. It’s more like Star Search than American Idol. And in its day, Star Search was a fun show to watch.

So to all those who would call me a hypocrite I say: “bah”.

Anyway, the point of this aside was to tell you that I forgot what my meaningless topic was because of America’s Next Top Model. But I suppose that’s meaningless enough for now.

In other news, the same friend who asked for the taping left her hat on the bus, today. I hate when things like that happen. It’s such a rotten feeling when the realization of what just happened sinks in. The feeling of loss and complete helplessness. I’ve felt that a few times in my life, I guess. Most memorably, when I was very young. I had a favourite toy transformer that had some snap-on pieces, and one of the pieces fell off while I was walking home from school. I searched and searched through the woods, but never found it. And I admit it: I cried. Apparently I didn’t have a sense of what tragedy really is when I was eight years old.

Only now does something occur to me about that story. Yes, a full 20 years later, I’m having a thought.

I lost the piece of the transformer in the woods. The woods were brown and green. The piece of the toy was red.

And as long-time readers know, I am red/green colourblind.

(thoughtful silence)

Damn.

Baby, it’s cold outside

I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside
I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s cold outside
This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice
My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry
well Maybe just a half a drink more – Put some music on while I pour

The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink – No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how – Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell – I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir – Mind if I move a little closer
At least I’m gonna say that I tried – What’s the sense in hurting my pride
I really can’t stay – Baby don’t hold out
Ahh, but it’s cold outside

C’mon baby

I simply must go – Baby, it’s cold outside
The answer is no – Ooh baby, it’s cold outside
This welcome has been – I’m lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm — Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious – Man, your lips look so delicious
My brother will be there at the door – Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious – Gosh your lips look delicious
Well maybe just a half a drink more – Never such a blizzard before

I’ve got to go home – Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb – It’s up to your knees out there
You’ve really been grand – Your eyes are like starlight now
But don’t you see – How can you do this thing to me
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow – Making my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied – If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can’t stay – Get over that old out
Ahh, but it’s cold outside

Baby it’s cold outside

Indian Spring!

It’s 14-degrees Celsius outside! What the heck’s with that?

Not that I’m complaining…I didn’t expect any more easy sunny days in 2005, so this is a nice surprise. Gave me a chance to clean up the backyard a little bit…bring in the cushions, stack the deck chairs…well, that’s pretty much it, actually. Not a whole lot going on in my backyard, and the barbecue stays out there…mmm, barbecue chicken…365 days a year.

And that’s all I have to say about the weather. And pretty much all I have to say for now.

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It’s raining cats and dogs

Which leads me to wonder…where does that phrase come from, anyway? Time for a google search, which reveals the following quasi-origins:

It’s raining cats and dogs

Interesting. Well, not really.

In other news, I’ve decided that it’s impossible to please you people. Jeff resented that I created the new category “Irrelevant” for the photo of him, Shawn, and myself. Of course, I did that more for the text of the scatterthought than the photo, but whatever. His suggestion was to create a category called “The Beautiful People”, but that’s just an abuse of the category system. Better to make that the title…so I did. And then I changed the category to “Wastes of Your Time”, on the theory that the majority of people who read the post would think, “wow, this is a waste of my time.” Seemed appropriate, and useful in a general sense. Although arguably, most of the content on this site is a waste of your time. So maybe it’s not really that useful.

Later in the evening, Phoebe chimed in, complaining about the new category. I think this relates to the fact that you can kinda sorta see her in the background behind Shawn and Jeff. Sheesh.

Fine then. You win. You suck, but you win. Into “General Musings” you go. Now stop complaining already.