5

93% moved, 56% unpacked

Well, maybe 57%. It’s a slow process.

It’s been near-on a full week, and I’m at least used to sleeping in the house by now. We’ve still got some stuff to get out of the old house before we hand in the keys, and some cleaning to do, but for the most part we’re set up in the new place.

Now I just have to change all my addresses…I know, I know, I should have done that already, but I’m just too busy. And when I do have free time, motivation is lacking. I hate to say that, but it’s true.

Life’s funny like that. I wish I weren’t so busy. I wish I didn’t have so much to do. I wish that I wasn’t burdened by so many tasks and responsibilities. I wish I could feel like one day I’ll have a clean slate.

Don’t get me wrong; I will. I’ll get to that point. I believe it.

I just don’t feel it…not right now.

So what else is new? Well, there’s a Battle of the Bards tomorrow, so if you’re free come join us. Umm, and my birthday is next week. I’ll be 29 on November 1st. Crazy, eh? No major plans…I’ve never been big on celebrating birthdays. Well, that’s not entirely true. I enjoy celebrating other people’s birthdays. Like tonight: we went out for dinner to celebrate a birthday, and I decided to get everyone in the restaurant to sing happy birthday (it was a small restaurant).

I just don’t really care too much about celebrating my own birthday. I’m not afraid of it or anything…it’s just not that big a deal to me. There are more important things in life, y’know?

Like…enjoying it.

Which, to be honest, I’m not having much success doing, of late.

Outwardly, it seems as if I’m in total control of my life. I’ve got a home, a car, a good job, friends, family, cats, saxophones, another job, Bards, another job…

Yeah, see, somewhere in there, I lost control.

And I need to get it back.

But don’t worry about me.

I’ll get it back.

Russ

5 Comments

  1. You sound so much like me right now, it’s creepy. What with a job another occasional job, board responsibilities, volunteering for this, volunteering for that, buying a house, taking care of a cat…. etc.,

    Any tips of how to manage your life? I just spent a day (off work) updating my to do lists on my computer, organizing music, cleaning, packing and more cleaning. For the first time in weeks my head feels clear

  2. Just need to learn how to say no, and you’re good as gold! 😉 As for the address change stuff, the post office forwarding thing is a great tool. Definitely plan on using it to buy yourself time, if you haven’t already. 6 months of the service goes by before you know it, so don’t take too much time to get those addresses changed! 🙂 I have gotten into the habit of making a list of everything I can possibly think of, and just hammering at it… Then, hopefully anything you didn’t catch will get forwarded and you’ll know the ones you missed!

  3. Well, I couldn’t comment on your Halloween post, so I will do it here… Regarding Scatterthought not being what it used to be. Maybe it is time to abandon this domain and start a new, anonymous one. There is a lot to be said for venting your feelings and the things happening in your life freely and without inhibition. It feels good saying it without repercussion but also, a lot more advice can be forthcoming if you are honest with those you are talking to. The other alternative, which can be far more helpful, is talk to someone – a friend is fine, a therapist is better. It is amazing the things you can discover about yourself when you are the sole topic of conversation… good luck

  4. Welcome to the neighbourhood (I can finally say it!) See you ’round town. 😉

  5. Hey kiddo,
    You just dropped me off home and I thought I’d read what you wrote in your journal. I know what you mean (in response to the Halloween post too) – you want to write something real, but when you expect your friends to read and comment, you have to edit yourself to give them what you think they want.

    I recently started a livejournal and I feel very self-conscious about what goes in there because there’s this whole LJ community and certain people in it do nothing but gripe all the time, which is a bit annoying I admit. I want to say something positive, but find that I only really want to write when I have an emotion that is hard to express out loud or in person (like sadness, anger, frustration, pain).

    On the other hand, I don’t want to hide things because I fundamentally have always thought that people should like me or dislike me for who I really am. Why bother using pretenses to make false friends?

    I’m sending positive vibes – I hope you regain your equilibrium in the fullness of time and are stronger for having been forced to deal with your emotions. As much as these things suck, I’ve found that I always learn the most about myself when I am miserable and I think those times have helped me in the long run. At least, that’s how I currently justify 4 whole years of law…

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