Bouncing back

Or trying to, at the least.

Whether you’re going to see a movie or on the road to recovery, admission is the first step. In my case, admitting that I can’t handle everything I’ve got on my plate right now, which I did in my last scatterthought. That being said, I’ve decided that I will regain control of my life this week. No question about it. I might not be back up to my usual standards of happiness and energy for awhile, but come next weekend, I’ll have regained my grip on the situation.

I totally lost it this past week, although that’s a relative term. For some people, “losing it” results in an emotional and/or physical meltdown. Some people just throw in the towel, while others vent at the first person who comes along.

In my case, I got locked into a loop of non-productivity. I had so many responsibilities and tasks running through my head that I couldn’t prioritize them. I couldn’t start or, more importantly, complete anything.

Truth is, most of those tasks are still hanging out there, unaccomplished. So why the change in attitude on my part? Why does it sound like I’m breaking out of my slump?

Talking about it certainly helped. Admitting to the various people I work for that I’m having problems, instead of trying to hide it from them and keep trucking along. Talking to my parents, and to other people close to me. Even writing about it on Scatterthought.

The universal advice: stop worrying about others for a change, and worry about myself.

I know that sounds obvious, but this is me we’re talking about. I’ve made a habit out of putting others ahead of myself…you could say that I’m addicted to it. But as happy as it makes me to be that person, it turns out that you can only handle so much at once. For the most part I’ve managed to balance the competing demands placed upon me, but right now it’s just too much at once.

So, I’m trying this path for a change. Working on what I’m committed to; trying not to feel like I have to things simply because I’m asked to.

Enjoying the warm sun through the window as I type this scatterthought.

And feeling…content.

There will definitely be lapes over the next little while…moments where I start to feel disillusioned and aimless again. But at least now, there’s a plan to get by it.

And before you know it, this will be a distant memory.