My goals for 2008 and beyond

Merry Christmas!
Happy Hannukah!
Felix Navidad!

And Happy New Year!

I know, I know. I’m a bit early, but figured that I’d better get my greetings in sooner rather than later. My updates have been so sporadic this past few months that if I don’t do it while I remember, I probably won’t.

Oh, and Happy Birthday to some of you, as well. You know who you are.

2008 is shaping up to be a busy year for me…given how 2007 has gone, did you expect anything else? Let’s see what’s on the horizon.

First, I’m directing FASS 2008, which kicks off with auditions on January 9, 10, and 11. Will we see you there? Hope so.

Second is that my responsibilities at the office are changing up a bit, and should get interesting over the next while.

Third, I’ve officially applied for part-time MBA studies at Wilfrid Laurier University, beginning in fall 2008. Apparently you can apply, get accepted conditionally, and then write the GMAT exam. So that’s what I’m doing. I just need to get some of my documentation together, and then we’ll see what happens.

This, of course, means that the timetable on The Decision might be moved up significantly, since I may have to decide on schooling sooner rather than later. That’ll determine whether or not I stay where I am or go back to Vancouver.

And if I’m being honest, the current lean is strongly toward staying in Kitchener-Waterloo, getting my MBA, and taking over the cities. Those aren’t, however, the fourth and fifth items on my list, since it’ll take me 3-5 years to finish my MBA and probably another decade or so to take over one of the two cities. After that, I expect the other one to fall quickly. Keep in mind that I’m padding my estimate a bit, so I might actually manage total domination by 2022.

Funny thing…when you say 13-15 years, it sounds like a short timeline for the subjugation and rule of a municipality. But saying “2022” makes it sound much more realistic, since that sounds so far off from 2008.

Although…I might shoot for 2020. Has a nicer ring to it:

“In 2020, Russell Patrick Wong brought together the cities of Kitchener and Waterloo, taking the first, bold steps toward a golden age of peace and harmony.”

That’ll go much better in the history books, and be easy for school kids to remember.

I know this probably sounds a little, umm, megalomaniacal (cool word, eh?), but a guy’s got to have goals. And here’s the thing; if KW’s population triples over the next decade, as it’s expected to do, then the place might grow too large and impersonal for my liking. If so, I’ll have to move to a smaller city and start all over. And I don’t want to do that.

The logical alternative is to make sure that I’m running the place by then, so that I can keep things nice and personal. After all, it doesn’t really matter if I know who everyone is, so long as they know who I am.

Makes sense, right?

Now I know that this all sounds a little crazy, and that I’m prone to flights of fancy. But ask yourself this:

If I put my mind to it, do you believe that I could really pull this off?

The reality is that it’ll probably never happen for a variety of reasons. For one thing, I’m easily distracted by shiny things, attractive women, and football (in no particular order). For another, I’m far too good-natured to do the evil things necessary to make my dreams of city domination come to fruition. I have the large vocabulary necessary to talk about evil things in grandiose terms, but lack the will to use it.

That’s where MBA studies come in…I figure that with 3-5 years of training, I’ll be ready to unleash my inner Napoleon complex. Why else would I bother with more schooling? You think I’ll actually learn anything I don’t know? Whatever.

So really, the only thing standing between me and ownership of your soul (assuming you live in, will move to, or be born in KW by 2020) is acceptance of my MBA application and a score of 550 out of 800 on the GMAT exam.

I should mention that I’ll be a benevolent dictator. Or at least, I plan to be. The way I see it, if everyone adopted my ideals, we’d have a pretty great society. So I’m not going to change to make things happen…I’m just going to change everyone else.

And I recognize that people probably aren’t going to cooperate with my plans…heck, if it were easy I probably wouldn’t be interested in doing it. But once you see how much better things are through my eyes, I’m pretty sure you’ll convert of your own free will.

Depending on how things go, we might even start a religion! How much fun would that be?

I’m tempted to start a Facebook group, since that seems to be the best way to get things done these days, but I think I’ll hold off on that for awhile until I can better articulate my plans. Until then, this scatterthought will have to serve as my manifesto.

Besides, there’s still a chance that I’ll move to Vancouver, thus abandoning these plans. But I kinda like the idea of having business cards that say:

Russell Patrick Wong, MBA

Note that I’m using Russell Patrick Wong. After much discussion with various parties, it’s been determined that my full name rolls off of the tongue much better. Also, I went with Saviour rather than Owner or Mayor or Dictator. There are lots of terms that I could choose, and I might just invent a word when the time comes. In the meantime, Saviour sums everything up nicely.

Please note that I have no plans to go beyond city domination. I’m really not interested in party politics, and you can’t accomplish much as an independent a the provincial or federal levels. Of course, after KW is mine, I’ll need something else to work toward…we’ll talk.

I should probably stop writing, because we’re likely well past the point where you’re wondering if I’m joking or being serious. That’s what I was aiming for, but I’m pretty sure that I overshot. The funny thing is that when I started writing this scatterthought, I really just meant to pass on a holiday greeting, which I accomplished pretty quickly. After that, things just got out of hand. And who am I to stop myself? That would be like censorship.

But all good things must come to an end. This scatterthought might not qualify as a good thing, but it too will end.

Happy holidays!