It’s been established that I am a generous person. Few, if any, people would disagree with that assessment. The question I struggle with is whether I’m generous enough or, alternatively, if I’m too generous.
This happens every time I get it in my head to spend a lot of money on myself. In this case, it’s the midi wind controller I’ve been writing about. I figure it will cost me $1000 to pick one up. Here is a short list of the many thoughts that have since run through my head:
- I can afford to do it, so why not?
- I should put all of that moneyÂ into my RRSP’s (thanks, Jeff)
- I should use that money towards renovations to the house
- I should spend that money on my friends and loved ones
- I should give it all to charity, rather than spending it on myself
This process tends to run itself back and forth for awhile, as my competing desires jab at each other with little to no success. I spend a lot of time debating this topic in my head.
The answer I’ve arrived at–for the moment–is that I’m too generous at this point in my life. I want to use my money to take care of everyone: my friends, my family, my future family, complete strangers, and myself. But I am not in a financial position to do so. At least, not yet.
So from now on, I have to stop picking up the cheque all of the time. If I’m being honest, I pick up group tabs more often than not. I do it for everyone–even the people who make more money than me–because I don’t want those who aren’t as well off to feel like I’m taking pity on them. I’m not. I just like doing things that make my friends feel good, and that’s one of the easiest things to do.
I have to start saving more money. I’m not bad at doing so, but I’m not focused on it, either. I need to make it a priority in my life.
And I have to work toward a more-profitable career, so that I can afford to be more generous in the future.
Basically, I need to become a philanthropist. Although the truth is, that won’t solve my internal debate. I suspect that I will always dislike living well so long as other people in this world are struggling to get by.
But at least I’ll be doing something about it.