Sorry, that should say, “where have I been?”
That is to say, “where has Russ been?”
Or more accurately, “why has Scatterthought gone four days between updates?”
And for those of you who are generous in your assumptions, “wow, Russ must be really busy right now.” (a statement, not a question)
While the rest of the world shouts, “what, your fans aren’t important to you anymore Mr. Big Shot?”
Though if we’re really being honest: “hmm, this site has been updated a lot since I visited it last month.”
ButÂ if you really want to hit the nail on the head, “I wonder how long Russ can keep this site going?”
I didn’t have a topic when I started this scatterthought, but that seems as good a place as any to start. How long canÂ I keep this going?
At various points over the last…wow, almost five years….I’ve thought that it’s winding down. I even said as much on a couple of occasions, and stopped writing altogether in May 2005. Not because I didn’t care, but because I didn’t feel like I had time to maintain it.
Switching to WordPress has given this site a new lease on life, as all I have to do now is type away and not worry about anything else. At the same time, as I’ve said before, it annoys me that Scatterthought is so generic…and has been for the better part of a year. As well, my archive is kind of hidden. Whereas in the HTML site, everything revolved around the history that I created over four years of scatterthoughts.
So how long can this carry on? I dunno. I don’t show any signs of stopping now, but in some ways, it’s lost its lustre. Actually in a very specific way.
Basically, Scatterthought isn’t nearly as special to me now that everyone else is doing it. Okay, not everyone is doing it, but everyone has the ability to. So I’ve gone from being a somewhat unique piece of the Web to being another one of those bloggers.
I’ve even adopted their technology.
Thus, you see my dilemma.
Certainly, I wasn’t the first to start a Web log, but there were so few people doing it that I felt like I was doing something different. I was using my Web site to put myself out there…personality, thought, emotions…all that. And very few others were doing the same thing.
Now it’s as easy as signing up to a free service.
I don’t feel like I’m better than anyone or like I’m a pioneer. Truth be told,Â I don’t really care. I just don’t feel like I’m doing something different anymore when I post. Heck, about the only thing different from some of the random stuff you see on other Web sites is that I’ve branded my posts as “scatterthoughts”.
The reality is that every scatterthought remains true to my original intent when I created this site. When it debuted, I called it “Hearsay”, and my posts were “random thoughts”. The point then, as it is now, was to capture some of the things going through my head and commit them to text. To capture a piece of myself and share it with the world.
Others may share themselves with the world, but I’m the only one who can give of myself.
There’s something else that I don’t like about the worldwide blogging phenomenon, which is that people are using it as a means of communication. Some people I’ve come across expect that I’m reading their blog, and thus know what is going on in their lives. Truth is, I don’t read blogs. When I want to know what’s up with someone, I like finding out in person. I like not seeing someone for a long time and then having lots to catch up on when we do get together.
From that standpoint, I’ve never really cared who visits Scatterthought. This very post is here because I feel like writing it. It’s something I want to remember. A feeling I want to relive years down the road when I look back. If you read it (and you are…I can tell), then I’m pleased because I’m sharing my thoughts with you. If you never come here and never know what I wrote on Tuesday, March 21, 2006, then that’s good too.
It’s all good. Either way it makes me happy. And I don’t know about you, but I’ll take all the happiness I can get.