Originally the title said “stupid”, but ignorant is a more appropriate word as it defines a lack of awareness.
So anyway, I’m buying a house. Yay! After a fairly long search, it came up pretty quickly and I’ve acted on it. As a result, everyone whom I talk to about it feels the need to offer the same advice. Advice that I’ve probably given to others in the past.
But that’s okay. People are trying to be helpful, and I appreciate it.
So here’s the thing: I’m buying the house jointly with my roommate and we’re splitting the title. Gets us both into paying a mortgage instead of paying rent. I think it’ll work out very well.
And if you say one word about us needing a contract on the shared equity and exit strategies and all that, I promise that I will block you from ever again posting a comment on this site.
And now you understand why I’m a little annoyed andÂ a little sick of people assuming that we’re too ignorant to know better. So please, put your minds at ease: regardless of the fact that we’re good friends, I would never do anything like this without a contract. The reason being, it’s best to spell out the details right now, rather than having to do that two years in and potentially cause friction.
So thank you for your advice; now keep it to yourselves.
It’s not that I mind people giving advice…it just gets tiring of hearing it from everyone. And what I’m waiting for is for someone toÂ say “obviously you’ve already thought about an equity/exit agreement”. Translation: recognizing that we’re not utterly naive.
Just because neither of has owned a home before doesn’t mean that we’re ignorant. I work in the architecture industry–a land of agreements and contracts and, hey, building ownership. I served on the WCRI board of directors for two years, where I discovered that perfectly nice people could be perfect jerks if they thought they could get away with it.
Of course, a lot of people don’t think of that stuff when they think of me, and that’s fair. It’s not the persona IÂ present for the most part. Instead, people see me as someone who is fairly optimistic and arguably too trusting in the world around me. To which I say, yes, I do put a lot of trust into people and situations that sometimes do not deserve it. But do I do it blindly? No. That’s what people don’t get. I’m something of a risk taker in that sense, because I often recognize that something or someone has not shown themselves worthy of trust, and I do it anyway. Why?
Because I refuse to give in and become another skeptic who sees disaster around every corner. Not to say that you have to be one or the other–I just think I would be one or the other.
I gamble on trust. More often than not I put my trust into situations that don’t deserve it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, I live with it. A lot of other people can’t deal with life the same way. And that’s fine.
It’s my way of living life. It may or may not be yours.
To be fair, the advice givers aren’t all assuming that I’m naive. And to be fair, I’ve probably come across the same way in the past. People hear our plan, and they immediately thinkÂ that a contract isÂ a good suggestion. So they make it. I’d rather they do that than assume we know and say nothing. But I’d most rather that they assume we know and acknowledge it anyway.
So while this started out as a rant, it’s turned into a “this is a behaviour that I will seek to correct in myself so as not to be a hypocrite” statement.
In truth, I wasn’t expecting that. But I’ll take it.