Something thoughtful

Well, it’ll soon be time for me to hop over to the office. I know, I know, it’s Good Friday and I shouldn’t be working. But there are things to be done and if I don’t get to them sooner, they’ll bite me in the ass later.

Don’t worry, I’ll only be there for an hour or so.

It seems to me that the scatterthoughts from the past couple of weeks have sounded a little stressed out. Okay, a lot stressed out at times. And in other cases, like I’m pretending that I’m not stressed out.

Well, I admit it. I was stressed out. The past four weeks have been packed with good and bad and everything in between. And you know what?

I’m still standing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you don’t get the reference, then you’re too young to remember the song.

This hasn’t been the most difficult period in my life–not by a longshot–but it’s been one of the most…hmm…let’s say, “pressurized”. Yeah, I’ve been feeling like I haven’t let up at all over the past while, even though I have. It’s just that whenever I’ve had a moment of downtime, there’s still been something to take care of…something on my mind. And that gets tough to deal with.

Of course, I don’t have it nearly as bad as other people, including many of my friends and coworkers. But the fact is, we create our own realities. And within those realities, we have to make the choices that get us from today to tomorrow.

Why, you ask, is this relevant?

We each have our own thresholds–the limits that we can deal with. Some people deal well with stress, while others don’t. Some can take an emotional pounding and keep getting back up, while others shatter into pieces.

I’ve always perceived myself as someone who deals well with extremes of both stress and emotion. Like I said, the past few weeks haven’t pushed me anywhere near those extremes. What they have presented is a neverending stream of stress and emotion. And this is something completely new to me. I don’t remember a time in the past few years when I haven’t been somewhat busy, but I’ve never felt this ongoing pressure, and I’m wondering when the proverbial straw will proverbially break the proverbial camel’s proverbial back.

I see other people in my office who are under constant demands from their jobs, and I find myself thinking that I shouldn’t complain, because I don’t face anywhere near the pressure they’re dealing with. But that’s them.

And this is me.

We each have our own limits.

I suppose you could say that I’m finding mine out, right now. I finished a major project yesterday and leaped onto the next one. It’s due next week and I’m already behind in it, because we put it off to deal with the other work. And that’s why I’m heading for the office in a little bit.

I’m not complaining. In fact, I’m feeling pretty good about myself right now. Because as much as I’ve felt all this pressure, I don’t think I’m about to break down, curl up into a little ball, and start crying.

I’m still standing. Yeah yeah yeah.

I’ll still be standing tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that.

Yeah yeah yeah.